Sometimes it feels like all you're doing is sitting there, work, school, home, bumming around minding your own business, and then WHAM! You're stressed out, panicky, anxious. Or you lay down in bed and suddenly everything you've ever done wrong is hanging over you, weighing on you, suffocating you. This happened to me a lot when I was younger. It occasionally still catches me by surprise, especially lately since I started my new job.
The truth is, though, that intense anxiety hardly ever comes on suddenly. Little things build up, but we just don't notice. Our thoughts and bodies are connected, and if you pay attention you'll find that there are usually things leading up to the panic attack or the overwhelming anxiety.
For example, maybe you're at work and it's really busy. Your adrenaline is already going and your body is probably more tense than if it were slow. Then somebody snaps at you, or makes a critical comment about what you are doing. You have a thought, either "Oh man why can't I just do things right for once", or maybe "That guy is such a jerk, what did I do to deserve that??" You feel a pounding in your head and your face flush. You don't necessarily think these things consciously, but in the back of your mind these things register and start a pile. Then maybe you make a mistake on a project you're working on. You think "Oh my gosh I screwed that up, now what? Am I going to get in trouble? Am I going to be able to fix this?" Your stomach rolls and your back tenses. The mistake doesn't cause any immediate issue, so you relax a little, but the worry is still there, added to your subconscious anxiety pile. Then you remember you forgot your lunch this morning, or you can't forget to go to the store after work, or you promised a friend you would call them and you forgot last time so you absolutely have to remember now. It gets harder to breathe for a minute. Another few things are added to the anxiety pile. Now you're irritable, snapping at people - one wrong look from somebody and you're gonna lose it.
Since you're busy focusing on your work, you don't really notice these things building up. However, your body sure does! At some point it decides it can't take any more. You "snap", or you become buried in feelings of worry and panic, probably mixed in with self-doubt and -criticism.
When we don't pay attention to our bodies, it's easy to feel like we are hit with a load of bricks all at once, when in reality the anxiety pile has been growing little by little and we just don't notice until it finally crumbles into a meltdown.
Occasionally anxiety really can come on all of a sudden (for example, someone scares us, we realize we are late for an important appointment we forgot about), but usually it's because we don't know how to watch out for it or we are distracted and aren't paying attention to our thoughts, emotions, and body.
I've noticed that one of my first signals of anxiety is my stomach hurting. When I realize I've made a mistake or something is "wrong", my stomach rolls and its feels like someone's reached into my gut, grabbed my stomach and is just squeezing it. At this point, I usually don't need to DO anything, but I know I better watch myself closely.
It's so important that we can pay attention to our bodies and get some of the stress out while it's still a little pile and we can manage it. Catch it early!! I would always make the teenagers I taught repeat that until they were annoyed (which didn't take long), but seriously, CATCH IT EARLY!!!
Your body gives you signals about your emotions. Our bodies usually register that we're stressed sooner than our minds do.
This is a list of common body signals of anxiety. Any of them sound familiar?
Racing heart
Racing thoughts
Muscle tension in: shoulders, back, arms, neck, face
Jaw clenching
Picking fingers
Biting nails
Breathing hard
Breathing fast
Holding breath
Sweating
Sweaty hands
Jitters, shaking
Stomachache
Lump in the throat
How many of these do you have? Which ones happen the most often? What signals do you have that are not on the list? My most common are my stomach hurting, tense shoulders, picking fingers, racing thoughts, jaw clenching and jitters when I start getting out of control.
So you know what some of your body signals are, now what?
Notice them.
Notice them.
What's happening in your body right now?
***STOP AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY RIGHT NOW***
Any signals of anxiety? If so, counteract it.
Holding your breath? Take a deep breath in and out.
Tight shoulders? Stretch your arms up over your head and in front of you.
Heart pounding? Stand up and walk somewhere, the bathroom or something, and burn off a little of that anxious energy.
When we know our body signals, we can keep our anxiety piles smaller and under control. Now someone criticizes you, and you feel your head pounding and your face flush. You notice it this time, it's a signal. Instead of letting it stay there in your pile, you, for example, take a deep breath and look at a picture of your dog on your desk or phone and are reminded that SOMEBODY believes in you ;) When you make a mistake, you freeze and feel your stomach roll. You notice it this time, it's a signal. Instead of holding it in and letting it build up, this time you recognize it and let it out. You stand up and go to the bathroom to calm down, or vent to a coworker you know will understand. (I can't tell you how many times I go to the bathroom sometimes...it's usually not to pee tbh)
This isn't a cure-all, and it can take a little while to get the hang of paying attention to yourself. But it can really help you to CATCH IT EARLY!!! And keep it under control.
Again, CATCH IT EARLY!!!
Go about your day and see if you can catch any of your body signals happening. Here's the list again:
***STOP AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY RIGHT NOW***
Any signals of anxiety? If so, counteract it.
Holding your breath? Take a deep breath in and out.
Tight shoulders? Stretch your arms up over your head and in front of you.
Heart pounding? Stand up and walk somewhere, the bathroom or something, and burn off a little of that anxious energy.
When we know our body signals, we can keep our anxiety piles smaller and under control. Now someone criticizes you, and you feel your head pounding and your face flush. You notice it this time, it's a signal. Instead of letting it stay there in your pile, you, for example, take a deep breath and look at a picture of your dog on your desk or phone and are reminded that SOMEBODY believes in you ;) When you make a mistake, you freeze and feel your stomach roll. You notice it this time, it's a signal. Instead of holding it in and letting it build up, this time you recognize it and let it out. You stand up and go to the bathroom to calm down, or vent to a coworker you know will understand. (I can't tell you how many times I go to the bathroom sometimes...it's usually not to pee tbh)
This isn't a cure-all, and it can take a little while to get the hang of paying attention to yourself. But it can really help you to CATCH IT EARLY!!! And keep it under control.
Again, CATCH IT EARLY!!!
Go about your day and see if you can catch any of your body signals happening. Here's the list again:
Racing heart
Racing thoughts
Muscle tension in: shoulders, back, arms, neck, face
Jaw clenching
Picking fingers
Biting nails
Breathing hard
Breathing fast
Holding breath
Sweating
Sweaty hands
Jitters, shaking
Stomachache
Lump in the throat
If you missed the first part of this short series of posts, you can read it at http://operationhappygirl.blogspot.com/2016/01/managing-anxiety.html
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