Why Your Mental Health Worker Might Be Burned Out

RANT POST!

Let me tell you a story about one reason your social worker/therapist/other mental health professional might be burned out.

I talk to a lot of people who have a lot of problems. Today I am going to generalize "people with problems" into two groups, and it's like this: 1) Some people have problems that are sad, hard things to deal with that I know I would struggle with too if it were me. 2) Some people have problems that are so heinous and unfair they actually make my stomach turn. All problems are real to the person, now matter how "big" or "small", and I 100% appreciate and understand that.

Sometimes, I can tell that someone in the first category is really struggling. The problem is real, no doubt about that. This person, however, has the means to get themselves better. They have insurance, a support system, some level of education, etc. They could just use someone to go to bat for them a little and they would have access to the help they want. I will be that person! That is my job! So I go to bat for them. The doctors question me, the psychiatrist questions me, the nurses question me, (and occasionally go from questioning to mean), my coworkers usually get it (which is a luxury), but generally, it's uncomfortable to advocate. You get a lot of people who talk to you like you're stupid. However, the other professionals will usually go along with my request because they trust me. So I put my heart and name on the line, advocate successfully, and I excitedly go to tell the patient that the help they requested is going to be granted to them. I open the door and tell them the good news!

They ignore me and stare at their phone. Then say something like, "How long is this going to take? I don't want to sit here for another f***ing hour. I need a soda or something." Then they look up at me, disgusted. "Can I just get a f***ing soda??"

I stare at them for a second. I answer their questions bluntly and run out of the room before I scream. Seriously.......?? Do they even care that I went out of my way for them? Are they going to act like this during their treatment and embarrass me for helping them? Why should I keep doing this for people if it's just going to keep getting thrown in my face? As I walk away I remind myself that they are not stable, they may not realize how they sound, they are stressed and tired, and this is the career path I chose. But like any human, it makes me feel angry and offended.

Let's talk about my second group of people. Some people come in, needing help, asking for help, desperate. They have battled and overcome barriers I can't even imagine facing. They are unstable and can't process information well, and it's a miracle they made it to the hospital at all. They have virtually no one in their support system, and have burned out most people who have tried -- not because they are mean, but because they function at the level of a small child and are emotionally draining to deal with. These people need a lot of help and they want it. But because of laws, policies, limitations of my own job and the broken, dysfunctional, ancient machine that is our mental health system, there's nothing I can do. Almost literally nothing.

I listen as compassionately as I can and compliment them. Then I say "Here, try these places" and hand them a list of phone numbers to places that can genuinely help them, knowing that they will probably never be able to make the call themselves. It's the middle of the night, so I can't make phone calls for them, plus I have 3 more patients to see ASAP, and the agencies that treat people with no insurance are already overworked and overwhelmed. I do everything I know how to do, but it's the worst feeling. These people almost literally need someone to take them by the hand, but they have very little chance of ever, ever finding that person, and I can't help them.

I know that everyone's problems are real, personal, and important. I will never diminish that. But some days it's really hard to feel for the first group of people who act rude, because you see the other end of the spectrum just as often -- the kind-hearted people with monstrous issues who really need treatment but just can't get it. Some days it's really hard to not feel frustrated, depressed and a little jaded.

(Don't get me wrong -- there are a number of people in the middle who genuinely are thankful and appreciative that they can get help. These people are an absolute treat and delight to work with, since they are the most rare and the most rewarding. Even the people who are unpleasant but invested are nice to work with.)

How do I let all the shit roll off me without becoming callous? How do I come to terms with the fact that much of the time I make very little actual difference in my job? And most of all, how do I keep MYSELF from going CRAZY??  (Just kidding. I actually kind of know how to do that one.)

I don't know. I don't know what to say about all that.

Therefore, in conclusion, it's at least nice to have that off my chest. Have I mentioned that rant-writing is an excellent coping skill? :)  If anyone out there has similar frustrations or something to add, please feel free to comment.