Understand your triggers for your anxiety.
Have you heard of a trigger? Yeah, like on a gun, you say. In the mental health word, triggers are events, situations, memories, thoughts, people, places, etc. that bring out emotions in us. They are the kickoff point of our emotional state, sometimes for anxiety. Most of the time we focus on the triggers that bring out emotions that we don't like or we have a hard time with (anxiety, depression, etc.), but there are also triggers for positive feelings. Everybody's are different.
When I was teaching this concept to kids I worked with, one came up with a great example. One person sees a dog. They have been bitten in the past, or they are allergic, so seeing the dog makes them scared or upset. For them, the dog was a trigger for negative feelings of fear. Another person sees the dog. They love dogs, and they run up to it and snuggle and are happy. For them, the dog was a trigger for feelings of joy.
A lot of us have triggers that are similar, especially for everyday kinds of situations - tests, traffic, work, social situations - and are a little more on the obvious side. For other people, who have experienced trauma or other really hard things, the triggers won't always make sense, even to themselves. If a person was abused by their mother when they were very young, they may be at work or school and find themselves becoming 'overly' upset when they are around a certain woman. They don't know why, there's nothing blatantly wrong with the woman, she's nice enough, but being around the woman makes the person really angry and insecure. It's possible that the woman at work has similar mannerisms, hair, or a personality to the person's abusive mother that the person doesn't fully realize. The woman at work becomes a trigger for feelings of anger and insecurity, whether or not it's recognized.
You can see where if this person doesn't recognize that the woman is a trigger for them, it's going to cause problems. The person might become extremely rude to the woman, or be unable to complete jobs because they are so upset. They might have clashes and the person might have trouble controlling themselves at work.
That's why it's SO IMPORTANT to understand the kinds of things that make you feel anxious! It's so important to know your own triggers for anxiety so that you can AVOID or PREPARE for them!! Knowing WHY your triggers make you anxious can also really help, so it's best if you can dig down a little and figure out why you're so anxious about it. (If you do this, sometimes old, old issues pop up and surprise you. It's helpful to find the root cause with a therapist.)
To get started, I made a list of common stressors (it's geared toward teenagers, but I think can apply to everybody). Read through the list and use the information from the last anxiety post - PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY WHEN READING THIS LIST! Some triggers might prompt an immediate physical response, which will help you recognize both your triggers and your body's signals of anxiety.
After each trigger you see that is true for you, think for just a second about WHY this gives you anxiety, i.e. I’m afraid they’ll think I’m dumb, I’m afraid I’ll mess up, etc.
Home:
Home environment
Neighborhood
Food
Your role in the family
Problems with parents
Problems with spouse/partner
Expectations
Money
Why are they triggers?
School:
Exams
Friends
Being around other people
Teachers
Assignments
Public speaking
Projects
Bullies
Peer pressure
Grades
College
Money
What's happening in your body?
Work:
Boss
Coworkers
Pressure to make no mistakes
Hours
Job duties
Customers
Why are they triggers?
Family:
Parents
Siblings
Other relatives
What's happening in your body?
General personal triggers:
Mental health concerns
Sleep
Personal judgments
Personal expectations
What others might think of you
What you think of yourself
Feeling like you’re not good enough
Feelings
Weight
Health problems
What's happening in your body?
What body signals did you have? What issues caused you the most stress to think about? Do you have other triggers that are not on the list?
Again, it's super important that we recognize our triggers so we can AVOID them or PREPARE for them. Some things we just cannot avoid, so we have to come up with a plan and some coping skills that are ready to go when we face our triggers.
A simple example is me at my new job. I found that I was uncomfortably anxious just being at work. My face always was red and felt like it was going to pop. I had a constant stomachache and was getting headaches all the time. I didn't know the people, I didn't know how to do the work. I was anxious because I did not want to make a mistake, and I did not want people to be mad at me. I prepared a few different ways to cope - I identified people that I was more comfortable with and reminded myself I would be working with them. I planned to stick a little close to them when I could. I hate making mistakes. I bought a tiny notebook and wrote down everything I learned from my mistakes. I tallied the numbers of patient interactions that went smoothly. I wear rings to work to give my hands something to do when I'm stressed instead of picking my fingers to a nub. I go to the bathroom when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I tell myself I'm doing my best, and that people being mad at me does not affect my worth as a person. I've done a few more things, but I think you get the idea!
It helps. Some tactics work better than others. I still feel anxious and stressed and overwhelmed almost every shift. But I know that work is a huge trigger and I mostly know why. So I have prepared, so I KNOW that the anxiety is not going to control me. We duke it out, me and anxiety, but I always win :)
Go through the list again, write down your 3 biggest triggers and why, and for each come up with a small strategy to try when you have to face that trigger.
Does your mom always call and chew you out for stuff and it makes you stressed? Plan to think of a fun trip or doodle next time she calls. Plan how you are going to react (in a way that won't make you feel guilty afterward...).
Going to a party and you have social anxiety? Give yourself an "out" or a time limit. Think about the people there that you like and are more comfortable with. Plan to find the bathroom as soon as you get there so you have a place to hide if needed.
Not everything you try is going to help, but some of it will. You may even find that the situation wasn't as bad as you expected and you didn't even need to use the plan!
If you want to read part one or two of the anxiety posts, here they are:
Part 1: Dealing with Anxiety (Without Medication)
http://operationhappygirl.blogspot.com/2016/01/managing-anxiety.html
Part 2: Body Signals
http://operationhappygirl.blogspot.com/2016/02/managing-anxiety-body-signals.html
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